A perceived threat to one or more of these needs triggers an uncomfortable emotion. This emotion drives us to protect and restore that need. Once the need is restored, the emotion subsides and we are left with a feeling of satisfaction.

Starting from birth we learn how to interact with the world through our emotional system. We cry when we are scared, we reach for our primary caregiver when we feel sad and need comfort, and we feel curious to explore a new toy or object. If our emotional expressions are attended to in a consistent and appropriate way, we learn to trust our emotions, other people, and the world around us. However, if our emotions are ignored or responded to inappropriately then we may learn to distrust our emotions, making it difficult to meet our own needs in the future.

Increasing emotional awareness is a necessary first step in EFT. Many people are largely unaware of their emotions and lack the language to articulate what they are feeling. Many people complain of vague feelings of ‘stress’ or ‘upset’ without being able to identify the particular emotional components of what they feel. As such, many people struggle to identify the causes behind much of what they are feeling.

Increasing emotional regulation is fundamental to facilitating emotional change. When emotions become too intense, such as panic or rage, we become overwhelmed, unable to think clearly, and lose control of our behaviour. On the other hand, emotions can become dulled or numbed to the point that we can no longer feel them. This emotional numbing is a key feature of depression. Emotional regulation refers to the ability to keep our emotions within a certain range of intensity, not too high and not too low. When we can regulate our emotions, we can access them in a safe way and learn what they are trying to tell us.